Posted on September 12 2017
Being the owner of a women’s clothing boutique, it did not take me long to see that us women are very similar in our insecurities. Regardless of our size or weight, one thing is for sure, very few of us have escaped the underlying need to perfect our bodies. In this pursuit, we stop ourselves from experiencing any satisfaction with our bodies until we reach this invisible self-made goal of what we believe is our IDEAL body. So many diet fads, exercises, body hugging fat shapers, cleanses, high heels…whatever it takes to get us through. We are just 10-15 pounds away from being there, right?
I lived most of my high school and college years with an awful, life draining eating disorder; being 4’11” and trying to make myself look 5’6” and 115 lbs. It was 9 years of never seeing my unique beauty, and killing myself in the process. It wasn't until God spoke to me through my Pastor that I realized He sees me as a perfect 10! God had a plan for me, and as long as I was not embracing who He made me, I would never fulfill this call. His plans for us are always good, and full of blessings. We just get so wrapped up trying to be someone else we actually get lost in the process. We become blinded and completely overlook the true beauty that lies inside us.
After this hard lesson and many years seeking the Lord about my true identity, I knew it was time to do anything I could to touch other women's lives the way my Pastor touched mine. So here we are about 10 years later, with the Southern Drawl Boutique. We are getting to love on women each day, and pray that the moment they come in they see and feel what it’s like to have someone love their real beauty.
We opened the brick and mortal store of the Southern Drawl a little over a year ago, in 2016. It took a huge leap of Faith and daily I have had to depend on God’s guidance. I have 10 years of retail management experience but up until this point never ran my own business. What made me do it you may ask, besides really wanting to help women? I had a dream I was pregnant. I actually woke up to hearing the words “you are pregnant with twins”. Now I knew I was not physically pregnant (I can’t have babies any more), so I knew this was God telling me I had two assignments he was going to birth through me. It was in a spiritual sense.
In 2016, my husband and I, opened this store, as well as began to expand on our outdoor ministry with the opening of an 3D archery range. It was and has been a huge year of opportunity and great blessings. But something was off, I seemed to be forgetting how to rest in the moment. I was forgetting how to remain full of joy in the one of the most amazing times of our lives. I saw dreams being birthed and was “taking care of the babies” per say, best I knew how. However, in it all, I started to feel overwhelmed with anxiety, and the magnitude of the assignment before me seemed to far exceed my abilities. Doubt in myself took hold. I started to even see myself differently overtime. I looked in the mirror and I looked tired, worn down, and just unattractive. I lost my spark and started feeling myself pull from a dry well to keep everything a float.
The Lord wake me up one day and revealed that I was in a spiritual postpartum depression. He had birthed two babies (spiritually) out of me and my husband, but I was feeling the overwhelming responsibility of caring for them, instead of the excitement of their being. Just like postpartum in the natural, how many of us are in a season that we know God has done great things in and through us? Maybe we are about to birth them or just gave birth to them, but we are starting to slip into a depression instead of excitement. We are only able to focus on the magnitude of the responsibilities at hand, and feel so lonely in the process. Watching the world go on around us, we have no grasp to pull us back in and feel like we are sinking into a dark hole without guidance or anyone understanding. Desperately wanting out but unable to admit our sorrow. We just start drowning in the cycle.
We need to realize that we are never in this life alone. God has a plan for each and everyone of us, and we have to keep our focus on Him. The Joy of the Lord is our Strength. That joy is not and emotion, it’s the “knowing” that He is there with us. It is “in” and “through” Him that our assignments are accomplished in a manner that is lasting and affective. That joy is understanding there is no pressure on YOU when it is Him we depend on for our everything. Joy comes when we get out of the way, and rest in is grace. His ability to do things in us that we ourselves can’t do on our own. Stop trying to be PERFECT and just embrace the you in His plan. He knows your weaknesses, and still chose you.
Remember, He is in our plan too! He can usually be found through other people, but He can’t help us through them if we act like we always got it together. Relationships are work, but it is so worth it. (Ecc 4:9-12) Lets take off our heels, fat sucking shapers, or any other thing you are using to modify yourself, and get real and transparent with each other! We need each other in our plan, we need Jesus in each other. The Jesus that is in my friends and family is revealed through them in different ways than the Jesus in me, and I need as much of Jesus as I can get! I promise you, the medicine of Joy through relationships will take effect if you take it as prescribed!
If you would like for us partner with you in prayer over anything, please feel free to send us your request at firstname.lastname@example.org. We would be honored! Your prayer request will be strictly confidential and we will not share any of the information provided with anyone outside the SDB family.